The day after…
The day after my bf and I had a discussion about him needing time to find his purpose in life I had my first visit to the psychologist. And I spent every minute of my 50 minute appointment talking. I’m sure I opened her eyes to a full on crazy life (probably not… I’m sure psychs hear far more interesting stuff than my life).
Of course, you first visit is for them to get as much information from you as possible so they can work out how best to give you the tools to help yourself. They aren’t there to fix you, you need to know how to deal on a daily basis, so they teach you.
At the end of my appointment, we decided that I need confidence in making and believing in my decisions. Doing things that I want to do, not what I think someone else wants me to do.
Oh and I’m passive aggressive, I kinda discovered that myself after reading this great blog post by Andrea Brandt. Being passive aggressive doesn’t mean you are an angry person, just that you avoid the conflict straightaway, but then it festers and you explode later, normally when the other person has totally forgotten about the situation.
I am at my place, I’ve given my bf his space and I got an email from him. This is a trigger for anxiety for me, but this time I read the email and I was calm and I came up with some answers and I love him more than ever. It’s hard when someone you love thinks they are failing you.
We are both going through our own issues but we love each other and support each other. I realize now that when he wants space it’s because he is in a bad place and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. (I can get on people’s nerves sometimes:).