My choices in life have led me to allow others to disrespect me. I’ve allowed it and just stopped noticing when it is happening. So then I don’t stop it from happening and it just keeps continuing.

How did I find out I was being disrespected? I told my man some things that were said to me (that I thought were funny ). When he heard what people were saying to me he could not believe that I would let people disrespect me like that.

I was confused at first, thinking these people were just being silly, just Aussie larrikins, didn’t really mean what they were saying…

But, when I took time to think about it , I was shocked to see that people don’t respect me as a mature respectable woman.

Of course, a lot of this behavior is because of my own behavior in the past. During my last relationship (mental and physical abuse) I would try to cover up what was happening at home by over exaggerating my love life to somehow make others think I had this amazing relationship and exciting intimacy.

This was my mistake!!!

Some people only remember me this way because they haven’t seen me since my life has changed. Not their fault… but I have changed and I need to set them straight if they speak to me in a disrespectful way.

Trying to be someone I’m not has backfired… so much so , some people still treat me like the fake I was.

Unfortunately, I still don’t know who I am. But I sure know who I’m not.

I NEED TO STAND UP FOR MYSELF

Many of my friends know what I went through and know how I’ve changed over the last 2 years and have seen me grow and mature and slowly move on from my nightmare. They never bring up things from my past or think it’s funny to mention embarrassing things I may have said or done. My real friends respect me.

Still in discovery mode…

E. x