Lately I’ve been practicing my breathing trying to breathe deeply in and out, expelling as much air as what I take in. With each breath in I slow it down and fill up my lungs and belly. With each breath out I push all the negative energy out.
I find myself using this practice quite a few times a day when I start to feel nervous or anxious about something. Usually, I remind myself that I’ve overcome many difficult situations in the past and I’m strong enough to overcome more. There are other times where it’s not about overcoming something it’s just about breathing and telling my inner voice to be quiet.
For instance, the other day I went in the sail boat with my boyfriend on the Broadwater at the Gold Coast. Now I’m not talking about a boat with space to move, I’m talking about a boat the size of a tinnie with a sail attached to it. I sit in the middle to keep it balanced and my boyfriend sits behind me steering and telling me when to move so I don’t get hit by the sail. Well anyway the wind was blowing and we saw dolphins right next to us, we stopped at one of the islands and had a swim, it was beautiful but all I could think of was, when do I have to move, when do I have to pull the keel out so it doesn’t drag in the sand, what happens if I fall out, will I get hit on the head and be knocked unconscious? Yes, even though I was fine and I can swim and I was actually enjoying it, for the life of me I could not relax. I would practice my breathing and it would help for a little while but then I would feel myself tense up and my upper body would become stiff and sore. This then leads into my body being in pain the next day. Why??? I hate feeling this way, I should be relaxed, cruising along the water, wind in my hair, dolphins racing us.
Do you ever feel this way, when you are in a relaxing situation, but you just cannot relax? I will continue to practice my breathing to calm down, but now I am starting to think (while I’m writing this) that it may have something to do with self-trust as well.
What do you think?